My Poetry

and thoughts....

Traditionalism versus Christ

If your appetite means more than saving a life,
You don't serve God but Gluttony.
(800.000 plants but you insist on dead animal flesh)

If you spend more money on yourself than on helping others,
You don't serve God but Greed.
(giving something you won't miss is not charity)

If your excuse is that your ancestors did so too,
then you are not a Christian.
Your a Traditionalist.

Some will hate you, pretend they love you now,
Then behind they try to eliminate you.
But who Jah bless, no one curse 

Philippians 3:19 Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is set on earthly things. They are headed for destruction.

Visiting a scammer

After 2 weeks of emailing back and forth it was clear to me that I had been scammed. I went to check the data of the company and saw that everything was in the name of 1 person. Multiple companies, multiple web pages, and all with many Google reviews with angry customers who had been scammed. People talked about filing a police report, etc. But no one had seen any money or product back.

I emailed that the item I ordered was for my old grandfather, that it was for a family celebration, I had no money, lost my job and I had to have it on time. Still, the scammer found no compassion. I had tried to arouse compassion presenting myself as a fragile poor woman, not only to try to get my money back in an easy way, but also to determine his fate. If I stood at the scammer's door and didn't get a refund, then I wouldn't show compassion either. I had announced my visit in the email, but nevertheless the scammer was surprised when I stood there. Went to two addresses I found in two different cities, the latter in a sort of bunker on the 24th floor. My foot went into the door at the open crack once opened.  I had come for something else, but he gave my money back almost instantly. And you may not attack a man that surrenders. Those are the rules. You can smell the blood of the unrighteous but you cannot touch. - July 2022

..And the years of your destruction shall be multiplied in eternal execration, and ye shall find no mercy...

Oderint dum metuant

I didn't came to live,
I came to die
I don't come to *fuck,
I come to cut
What I desire has no ego
and it burns inside of me like an inferno
the longing for justice, for truth, for freedom
I came for liberation
not for ** enslavement, not for chains
You cannot put fire in a box
just because you like to watch the flames and warm your hands.
The fire is independent, don't come too close it will burn.
It will burn down the illusions you have.

- 2022.
*the only pursuit of human piggies
**Yes, emotional enslavement is just one of the many forms making people run around senselessly like rodents in a running wheel. And living and dying, who knows what I say, who understands what I mean. To me life is a realm, and every day a new birth of the day, to whom to address my words if none understand the meaning of any. 

I am not a people person. You know that, but you think you're special.
So I am fine with the 1.5 mtr distancing.
I am fine with the mouth mask, you walking germ.
I don't want to hear you poop or piss.
neither do I want to hear you when you are eating.
I do not want to see indecency. So put your clothes on.
Best is if you do not speak either. and where you should be quiet, keep your mouth shut and watch your breathing.
All things considered, I think I have grown accustomed to angels.
They are disciplined, nothing throws them off course.
They are concentrated and are asexual.

- Misanthrope

No way back

The planet is on fire and the fate of man is inescapable.
I talk to dead people.
Their deeds do not touch the depths, their worries only superficially. Their trees bear no fruit.
Celebrating the feast day of Lucifer, PRIDE
Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction
So I turn my back and leave 
Luke 9:60 "let the dead bury the dead" - Jesus Christ
Nuclear war in sight, the earth withers
I didn't turn 40 to keep listening to drifters and cowards,
who think a war is won with scattering petals, positive thoughts and uplifting spells.
Forge your sword in blood and tears, for it is war.
Angels descend with an express train.
Matthew 28:2 There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven.

Love the #MeToo movement

Every single woman has been harrassed by men. And its always the married/ugly/old/fat ones, the ones it even makes you frustrated to react but you must or they wont leave you alone with their perverted 'innocent' 'funny' comments. I always responded with anger, but its tiresome. To cover their whoredom and failure they start telling people there is something wrong with you. Even poor Joan of Arc was harrassed by pervs when she was imprisoned, and because she wanted to fight them off in pants and not in a skirt, this made her even more hated by the elite and lead to her death. You experience something every day. Example: a male colleague who noticed that the customer (a father) who wants to have a tape transferred to DVD has been filming during a performance of his child and zoomed in on the breasts and buttocks of young teenagers... BTW Not all women find it annoying to be harassed. These are the women who have a chronic shortage of attention, aspire to get many likes on fb and many followers. Without compliments, they don't feel validated.

Ever tried the whip cracking trick - cutting a cigarette from the mouth? I did. And when I wanted to sell the whip, I was bombarded with a lot of disgusting males who with their couchpotato asses can only think of whorish things.

Who is a shallow pervert can expect aggressiveness, and who is civilized will receive kindness.

Be like Shep. Take no Crap.

The Ancient Call

Prone to extremes am I
Satisfied with only the best
The best healer, the best combatant, the best poet
The best of the best with no place for the rest.
I am a lover, but it's not love that bonds me
I am a fighter, I strive for devotion and loyalty
For the sword must be molded in fire and thunder
in trials and tribulations, a pure and ultimate force
I call upon the four elements and stand before the four winds
a natural intoxication of knowledge and energy unified
I like Gods legion to be amused as well when the kingdoms fall
When we wash our feet in the blood of the wicked
I want them to attack in fury, merciless and full of wit
before the ancient winds will whisper in their ears
"Come back holding your shield or being carried upon it!"


Aimlessly wondering - bathing in disgrace
Sold their souls to pleasure, no dignity remained.
The flock, the sheep, awaiting to get devoured
the helpless ignorant mass - living their final hours,
Their weights crushed by responsibility ignored
For in last days of judgment - they all shall taste the sword.

Nameless poem, written in 2019:

like a lioness in a cage
the wall so tall
a little bite
a little blood
a little lick
a little bit to satisfy the thirst
alas one drop will release the beast
it's a pigeon anyway

Finis erit, prima Fuit

The devoted love of Penelope awaiting Oddyseus
Samsons love for Delilah
Real love knows no limits, no boundries,
Its unconditional. Its Divine.
It waits and gives. Hopes.
Remains in faith against all odds.
When one loves with a pure love that succeeds petty emotions, the love looses its impatience,
selfishness and expectations.

Changing Seasons

Years are passing by
wrinkles are forming around the eyes
black cat's whiskers turning white
sending prayers by candlelight
There is no cure for the occassional loneliness
and as long as I remember,
no remedy for December.

When you are close but still too far,
It does not matter where, but who you are.

Groundhog Day

Elke keer een stukje verder zwemmen
op dat stukje hout, zo oud
en wanneer dan de kust in zicht is,
pakken donkere wolken zich samen,
gaat het onweren en hagelen
en sleept de woeste zee je weer terug

De dag breekt aan de zon schijnt
en je gaat weer zwemmen vol goede moed
Soms kom je een drenkeling tegen
je biedt een stuk van je hout aan
en samen zwem je verder
je denkt, als ik nu rust kan jij zwemmen
en andersom, zo komen we er wel
maar het was geen mens, het was een meerman
die zich vermaakte om je leed
en toen hij uitgelachen was,
weer terug in de diepte gleed

En wanneer dan de vermoeidheid zijn tol eiste
en het lied van de sirenes zo lieflijk klonk
De zon tot hallucinaties zorgdroeg
en je van de zoute zee dronk
het water langzaam je longen vult
is daar een stuk hout,
die plotsklaps uit de hemelen valt

Koor: Maar bekijk het van de zonnige kant!
Je zwemt in de zee, maakt dingen mee. Wat een genot!

Niet klagen maar dragen niet klagen maar dragen niet klagen maar dragen niet klagen maar dragen

The Case of Discipline

Oh but we have needs they say
We all have basic human desires.
Don't be a spineless chunk
and wisely use the powerful svadhisthana chakra.
Don't be like sleezy douchebags
jumping in each others bed,
work out instead!

Alles is te verslaan behalve bedroefdheid.
Je kan je overal tegen wapenen behalve verraad.

Draait oude LP's...
Is het alleen wanneer je aan iemand denkt
dat je hem overal in herkent.
I loved his velvet voice. Our silences. 

Black Consumption

Satan was thrown out of Heaven because of his pride
Many are jailed because they were blinded by pride
Justifiable pride comes not out of love for thyself but for others
Like a mothers pride when her child learns well
So there are two different sources where pride comes out off
Be aware of which one you have
- the wrong one consumes you,
And will throw you out of Heaven too

Red Rose (sent to a soldier once)

Oh ye brave men, scattered around the globe
How I crave for this delight
The moment in which we all walk together
To enter the final fight.
I can hear all their hearts beating,
as loud as thunder.
Thus, courageous soldier
Let not alone my letters follow you,
wherever thoust might be,
For see the warmth of the sun as my extended arms,
when the sunbeam shines upon thee.
For as God shaped man in His likeness,
The blood debt shall be repaid
Tyranny, corruption, deceit and confusion
Cutting with a sharp blade the veil of disillusion
The ancient war - the time is now
The endless line drawn in the sand
Blood for Blood
- by the righteous hand.


Een slechte tegenstander is een aanval op je intellect.
Het toont van geen enkel respect
Hoe wil je een mens analyseren die zijn mentale condities beheersen kan
Die je beter kent dan jij jezelf.
Die weet dat hij altijd op het toneel staat,
omdat de wereld toekijkt of hij door het ijs zal zakken
Hoe wil je plannen smeden in het geniep
Als de ander ze in zijn dromen ziet.
Hoe wil je de ziel uit de mens halen.
Dat lukt je niet.

Damocles and Pandora meet Deus ex Machina

I have a curse that needs to be lifted
A therapist will blame it on childhood
A psychic will talk about bad karma and what I did wrong in a past life
A priest will tell me to pray and repent my sins
A drunk will tell me to raise a glass until I forget about it
Therefore chose your friends carefuly.
narrow minds, will give narrow opinions
Hateful minds, will give hateful speeches
None will lift you up, but drag you down in their sorrow
Now I say, this was just a moment of weakness,
for yes there is a curse
but just like with every great gift comes a lot of responsibility so I stick by Aristophanes's side..
just wait for the plot twist

Just a thought

Do not trust in man.
The heart of man is full of deceit,
He spends most of his money on himself
His words endless, his praise worthless,
his deeds few and shallow.
The apostles were mocked tortured and killed.
Yet man sits comfortably out of his chair and judges.
Like a Pharisee safe from his cave he points his sausage finger,
while animals suffer and children fall prey to pedophiles.
Soldiers taking their own lives dissapointed by man,
because they forget their service belongs to God.
On his empty shelf of deeds sits the cross he never picked up, collecting dust.
You will recognize them by their deeds. Words are cheap.


They don't talk to you but about you
good or right, does not matter
Lonesome my Father must be
when they speak of him in sheer vanity
Only in their darkest moments
they remember his name

Jacket of Deep Grief 

When I create, when I work out, when I dance, when I talk or when I walk, my new jacket is off.
When I stop, as if a butler is standing next to me, to not waste a good moment, the jacket slips on.
An eery but warm comfortable jacket.
Quite heavy on the shoulders
In it the physical body stands firmly grounded
while the soul is on it's knees.
The jacket gives clarity,
and I will not depart from it.
My heart is broken beyond repair.

het verdriet besluipt me
het is als een zware nevel om mij heen gewikkeld
het verstikt me
het knijpt me ineens fijn, diep als een citroentje
en vele tranen plengen er dan uit
als de laatste inwendige kreet geslaakt is
de laatste traan op de kin is opgedroogd
laat de greep los
ik weet niet wanneer het terugkomt.
Het verast me. steeds weer.

Love Only Grows

its just not meant for everybody

Some Thoughts...

God is jealous

"Thou shalt have no other gods before Me" is one of the Ten Commandments.

God is a jealous God (Exodus 34:14, Exodus 20:5).

Now let me give an example. You are married. You have a happy marriage and your wife would do everything for you. On the walls of your home there are pictures. Of you and your wife, of the children she gave birth to. Your children. Now imagine you being such a dipshit to fancy another woman and to put her face up on the wall. Is that not, ungratefulness? Is that truly the respect you would give your wife? Same goes for God. Stop putting pictures of losers on the wall. It pisses him off. 

Fearing God

Most think God is some hippie and it's all about love. That is partly true, this actually goes hand in hand with holiness truth and justice. God is a righteous God. A Father. And like with earth fathers, when we were small, if we did something wrong we feared to get a can of whoop ass. Now if you have a living relationship with the living God, then you feel the same fear when you even slightly think you might do wrong. I do not want to anger my Father. He does not deserve disobedience either. No parent does, therefore one of the commandments is to honor your father and mother. I fear my Father in a healthy way, as in I do not want Him to be ashamed of me, I do not want to dissapoint Him. I do not want to break his trust. 

God is a righteous judge.

March 2020 - My son baffled me this weekend. He gave me some facts about a subject and as it turned out, he thought I had done something questionable. Well not questionable but simply dead wrong. I said no son, I did not and if you had done such, we would have a problem. If you doubt, always ask me. If I was wrong, correct me. If I would do something which is not righteous, I would lose the hotline with dad. Then I started to think.. I too.. have a doubt. And did not ask dad straight up. So I did.. see dad.. I was looking into cattle and what bothers me is that Lot offered his two virgin daughters.
>Yes, LOT DID. I didn't, Lot did. What did I say to Abraham when he asked me about sparing the life of the righteous people in Sodom?
You said if there are 40, I will not destroy it.
> If there are 30, I will not destroy it. If there are 10, I will not destroy it.

God's patience with sinning people explained

22 March 2020 - I wondered why God is so patient with bad people. Then I dreamed this. A shepherd walked through the fields with his sheep. This allowed them to graze where they wanted and he watched them. Then he saw a field of hungry wolves further on. The sheep in his vicinity were safe, so he did not have to worry about them. The sheperd called the sheep that stood at a distance and had separated themselves from the rest. Some were hit because they didn't want to turn around until they were on the safe side. The wolves would tear apart the sheep alive. He loved his sheep and he did not want that fate for them, even though they were stupid and stubborn. Then there were sheep so stubborn and selfish that the shepherd had to run after them. After tripping a few times, under the scratches, tired of shouting and running, and now far from his safe flock, the shepherd let's them go, shaking his head. They were torn apart by the wolves.

Human traditions still worth more than Gods word to bellies

30 March 2020 One short word for the traditionalists. Who care more for human traditions than Gods word. Boasting sitting in church on Sundays with fat bellies. I was not the first who noticed the same behaviour. St. Paul did so too. Who is it, that calls someone else 'Father'. Who baptize babies with water when Jesus or John touched not even one like that. Who is it who pray to the one not even a single sentence was devoted to by God or Jesus with request to pray to her? It is these who find it strange I care not much for birthdays (I tend to forget the year and age with people), because I am grateful for every day. Even in that, the bible stands on my side;
There are only three birthday parties described in the entire Bible. Absolute disaster occurred on each occasion! If God felt birthday celebrations were something positive and good, why wouldn't He have recorded one other account where something either good or positive happened? Yet, there is no such account.  

I dedicate this thought to all the city pigeons. 

I consider most people as intelligent as city pigeons, the majority just want to eat, play, fuck and shit. 
I mean, chickens know math, pigs can work with computers, elephants can paint, in which aspect is the man superior? I am talking about the majority. 
The year only just started and one tried to crawl into my pants and the other into my wallet when I try and be nice.
And hear this, pandemic "just ended" and they're all crawling in each other's ass again, not keeping their distance, coughing and not washing hands.

And what did they do when they were in lockdown? When it was new and they were unsure about the future? Then they started to reproduce, just like the pigeons do, even if they have nothing to eat. So instead of fewer people, there are even more people after the pandemic. It's a fucking joke.

I met a dude briefly, he would stop eating meat if I'd set myself on fire. Sure little man, sure you would. If anything in life is sure, its that the word of (hu)man is worth nothing. - 2022

Tv zombies

de invloed van tv is merkbaar wanneer...
na 50 shades  alle wijven met een srt halsband om de nek lopen
alle kinderen een 'nemo' visje willen kopen
elke kerel zich ineens als een Viking wil kleden
elk wijf ineens Harley Quinn met carnaval is
(toepasselijke afkorting SOA): elke kerel ineens in een motorclubje zit of ambieert


I spent most of my time in the library instead of at school after primary school, I skipped school to go to the library. The first book I read was the biography of Janis Joplin. After that I devoured a lot of books in the history department. Found the lessons at school rather one-sided and politically colored. There was no neutrality, objectivity, creativity and realism.

Blessed are the kind of heart that adopt an old being from a shelter instead of shopping for new breed ones

"Yesterday I adopted the oldest, sickest, and sorest shelter dog. I'll never forget his eyes. When I went into the cage he didn't even bother to look, he knew I wouldn't even see him.

Curling around the corner He'd accepted his fate. The volunteer said to me many times... Are you sure this one? Are you sure? YES! This is my dog. He opened the cage and 3 animals fell on me. I ran towards him, suddenly he looked at me as if he saw an angel... I hugged him and told him that now he'll be happy again. Then he sleeps in my lap... probably the first peaceful sleep he ever had. Give it a life. Give it a hug. They need us." From a dad who saved a soul. Credit: Animal Alternative Therapy

I understand.

Much to your dismay, you find out that people don't mind that little BABIES are taken from their mothers (calves of the cows) for milk. That they are then slaughtered. That animals are kicked, tortured. Experience unprecedented suffering. That is against the will of God. That is Satanism. God can also use cruelty, and sometimes tenfold with anger. But always out of justice. I mean, eating veal? A baby? A baby sheep? Go ahead eat your own limbs or kids.

Whoever asks God for insight, gets it.

I feel I am drifting away from humans in general. It's like speaking the language that was lost, but nobody speaks it, nobody wants to speak it anymore. The communication with the other side becomes stronger.

The world becomes nothing but noise.

The Struggle Within

I'm often in two minds, I know we need to be like Jesus. 
I know only light can vanquish darkness.
I also know Gods creatures with pure souls dislike violence. Even if it is necessary to do.
So when I feel fire is consuming me again I take steps back and meditate. My hands are tied and I am loyal so when God says put down the sword the sword is put down. Even for eternity if must. 

But I will always make sure I am ready.  
I am not Jesus, nobody can be like Jesus so he surely was the son of the Almighty.

Niemand om tegen aan te kruipen
als je door nachtmerries weer uit je slaap getrokken wordt
en niemand om voor te zorgen.
Dat is het nadeel aan alleen zijn.

A case of the underpants

- fuck off male ho's.

Even if you say you don't like guys walking around in panties like Al Bundy, that won't stop them from walking around in panties.

You can't say 'what if I were a woman walking around in underwear' because they're fine with that. And now I understand why Adam and Eve could walk around naked when they were without sin. Because like children, when people are pure, they have no thoughts in front of a naked body. While sinners like perverts immediately think of primitive things.

If someone tells me they would like to have an relationship, and with the knowledge that old sailors who mistook a sea lion for a mermaid after months at sea (so drunk with emptiness that they see everything in their own way), then you know that you have to ask for a separate room.

It is insulting to think that a woman and man can be scantily clad in the same room without one of the two not having any whoring thoughts. It is therefore not surprising that nudist beaches have a lot to do with perverts who spy on women. After the fall man became A BEAST.

I find it utterly mind-boggling.
Can you really not tell it makes me want to cut you into pieces and play with your blood?