Decided to remove my personal website dating from 2008 and added it here. Things so I won't forget. And to honor God (testimonies).

The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential... these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.
Take care of your body as if you are going to live forever; and take care of your soul as if you were going to die tomorrow - St. Augustine

There are 60 minutes in one hour, a day contains 24 hours. So 24 times 60 is a total of 1440 minutes a day!  One minute has 60 seconds, one hour has 60 minutes and one day has 24 hours. Thus, 80 x 60 x 24 = 86,400 seconds in a day. If you can't even give God 1 minute or even a second of 'your' time a day to give thanks, don't expect anything in return either.

Do not trust in man.
The heart of man is full of deceit,
He spends most of his money on himself
His words endless, his praise worthless,
his deeds few and shallow.
The apostles were mocked tortured and killed.
Yet man sits comfortably out of his chair and judges.
Like a Pharisee safe from his cave he points his sausage finger,
while animals suffer and children fall prey to pedophiles.
Soldiers taking their own lives dissapointed by man,
because they forget their service belongs to God.
On his empty shelf of deeds sits the cross he never picked up, collecting dust.
You  will recognize them by their deeds. Words are cheap.

Angel after Prayer

2008 ~ I've seen an angel (Split, Podstrana) after request in prayer (I was afraid), a huge white serene feature, medium long hair, 'dress', male, bare feet, that covered me with its huge wings. Years after a picture was made of the room. Where the angel stood a blue glow was shown.

As soon as I realised that what I afraid was from wasn't something I could confront as it was not from this planet, I had asked specifically and directly to God to send help/an angel. The fear was replaced by intense serenity when within a second, this white angelic figure stood in the room. It came towards me, sat on my bed and bowed, covering me with its wings. It was the last time I was afraid, now God only I "fear".

Split is a very special city. The soil is soaked with blood of the saints. The biggest persecutions ever in history against Christians took place there.

Butterflies of Hope

September 2013 - butterfly flied in when I lost hope. Week later another butterfly at work, open window on 3d floor in the city. Since then many butterflies came along. Posing for pictures.

Always in Good Company

Had asked one of my colleagues from when I worked at a medieval themed restaurant to share her sandwich

Company while in Prayer

2009 ~ requested company after prayer (I was 'depressed') in Wallonia. 

I went for this walk (see also pic underneath this text) and asked God or his angels to accompany me. Depression fell upon me hard as I was confronted with earthly things (not because I wanted it, but because I saw it was admired by those I loved); someone who had everything, many friends, money and property, overall success. And I, getting older, still had 'nothing'. He asked me 1 question only. He said, would you trade everything the person has for what you have?

I immediately said no and understood. Because these things were all worldly, and none had faith. So quickly the depression was gone and I started to enjoy the walk. As I was walking and talking I found this little church and felt the need to go inside. Inside, I felt the need to sit down but I was afraid I would break the chair so didn't. When I came home, only then I noticed that where my feelings were the strongest in that conversation, the lights are shown on the pics. 

Never Alone

2012 ~ (visible) company after request prayer in 2012. Someone wanted to visit haunted houses to make pictures. I said, those are demons. Come to me and I'll show you good spirits (no not the dead!) for your pictures.

I don't think we stopped taking these sort of pics since then

Calling upon spirits is babylonian bullshit and invites assholes. But with faith as a mustard seed you can move mountains.

Ezekiel 1:16 This was the appearance and structure of the wheels: They sparkled like topaz...Each appeared to be made like a wheel intersecting a wheel.

Ezekiel 1:18 Their rims were high and awesome, and all four rims were full of eyes all around.

Ezekiel 1:20 Wherever the spirit would go, they would go, and the wheels would rise along with them, because the spirit of the living creatures was in the wheels.

Your own choice

Matt 13:9 (or Mark 4:23) Whoever has ears, let them hear.
I never have and never will try to convince anyone to follow Christ. I'm not here to hold your hand, you must make your own choice. 

1 Corinthians 16:14 Let all that you do be done in love.
I have said for years now that males till age 39.5 can join the Foreign Legion, even to suitors. I do so not trying to emasculate a man; I do so because every male has the opportunity to become a professional warrior. There you need no prior experience if you have none, and it can reactivate those who once did something similar. You get a paycheck, a redefined skillset and valuable contacts for life. I want our sons to be strong and to secure the safety of our grandchildren. My aim is for you to be safe and fully capable of defending the weak.

2017 was the year in which I decided to join the Foreign Legion myself so (5 yrs) I would be able to help my soldier son when needed. Alas women could not apply at all. (pic taken in Dalmatia in 2017). 

When I just check to be sure, I pray in the name of Jesus out loud - like a demon repellent - plus I watch Mika. The spirit/s love animals so if Michaela doesn't act alarming all is fine. Animals have pure hearts, that's why the donkey saw the angel in Numbers 22:23 and greedy Balaam did not. Always have your guard up:
1 John 4:1 Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.

Pictures are all made with different camera's (digital or smartphone) during the years, day, night with or without flash. And these pictures are here for you, not for me. I'm waiting on the two, not on you.
Now let me tell you this. I'm not interested in what you have in your wallet but what you have in your heart. I'm not interested in what you have done for yourself but for others.

Wasp friendship 

My love for wasps started in 2015. A wasp came by every single day for at least 2 weeks a work. I found out quickly due to his behaviour that they recognize you by your scent as they come close and sniff you, and that they tell their mates/brothers? about you who will greet you too. 
My colleague said it was not the same wasp that returned each day. I said he was. Then the wasp stopped coming. After a few days I looked outside the window, only to notice someone had squashed my friend when they had closed it. 

Tommy the Cat & the Rat

One day I got home and saw a cat attacking a rat. I ended the fight, saved the rat and gave the cat treats.
The poor thing's ear was damaged, but after getting bread he quickly restored in spirit. I ended up going home on one boot because the other made him a fine home. Now Tommy turned out to be a neighbourhood cat. He would since that day, wait for me every day for treats. 

Open line of communication

God is a a living God. Just because you don't see Him doesn't mean He ain't there. The blind man doesn't have to see the sun to feel it's there. He is not somewhere in the distance. Miracles aren't something that only happened in the past. He is here still, he is now, he is alive. I call him dad, and he keeps sending me friends so I'm never alone. If any it's always crowded, or with animals or with what I reckon are angels. You must be open to the communication forms. You communicate with everybody differently. Everybody has a guardian angel(s), everybody can talk to God/Father, it's nothing special really. To see it as something strange is as strange as to me is this: the animal friend that does not kill that is seen as an extremist because he is against killing. I wrote a love poem in 2019 to praise dad, and by God when I stood up I got a bit startled as a white figure of light had been reading over my shoulder. 

God has humor. Example one. I prayed all week every evening for something and someone else. And all prayers were answered. When Sunday arrived I thought of how all prayers were answered like a wishing well and started to think, oh what do I want now? I opened the book, a habit in which I randomly open the book and point my finger to a sentence, and then look. There was written.. it's now time to say THANKS.

Example two. All prayers get answered - well, not all but these get resolved differently. Anyway, I asked God, look, I don't ask for much. I only want a Ducati. I could see myself driving a black devil in the night, dressed in black leather for the cold, black snake boots (these were old wishes..) because it seemed fitting, a whip, a karambit and a kali stick with me to visit paedophiles and bring a can of whoopass. His answer was; you won't get the money because you will spend it on things you don't need. WELL YEAH I don't need it but Jesus.. anyway, so no Ducati for me. 

Matthew 7:7 Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.


deo fidens persistas

Split City of Saints

1980 Nun school in Croatia. Pic right is Grgur Ninski, who took a stand against the church as he wanted the people to be able to read the bible in their own language.

It would have been easy for me to follow the Croatian tradition of praying to saints and Mary. But neither God, Jesus or Mary herself asked us to pray to Mary.


Gift from God

1997 Birth of my son. When I was young I knew I would give birth to a boy with blond hair and blue eyes. Hence in his birthcard I had added the text 'predestined, so he came'. Long before it was official the baby would be a boy, I had enlisted him at a daycare center (you had to reserve a place beforehand) with his full name. I cried when I heard I was pregnant, from the hospital to the way home, and fell on my knees at home thanking God for this wonderful gift.

He has 3 first names, one of them means bear, another one means lion (French pronouncing) (+ of course one traditional Christian name). I read the bible to him every evening, took him to the librairy every wednesday for 2 hours where we read books before taking him to martial arts class.

picture left is called animal friendly fishing hahaha

la famiglia

Grew up by the sea, under the sun.
A few favorite memories of mine:
* the first time I saw the structure of a snowflake was in Austria
* I caught a seahorse when we were swimming in deep water (Croatia)
* every single morning very early, dolphins jumped out of the sea.
* I would put blackberries on thin sticks or whatever I found in the mountains and mum would make jam from it
* seeking pine cones and putting them in a bag - in the winter deep in the mountains while water was coming from the mountain, so fairy-tale like. Dad was chopping wood
* seeking gnomes in a forest in Austria my parents and grandmum had hidden
* selling figs on the beach as a kid
* age 7, becoming Tito's pioneer. Yeah it was commie Yugoslavia, but I don't remember the commie side. I remember loyalty towards the country and God.
* the many arguments with the nuns cause I had no patience

mum with friends
Fun fact: mum (who instilled the love for reading) when she was a small kid loved to read, so because she would just turn up in a bookstore constantly she was asked to do little choirs for which she would receive a card she could pick out. Now as for me: I would at some point skip school and spent time in the librairy instead which I found far more interesting. Reading mostly biographies and history books. 

(step)dad entertaining my son when he was small.
I always say I have 3 dads. My biological, my step-, and my Father in Heavens.

dad motivated me for martial arts

as a martial artist once said to me, women and men are biologically different, specialize in something but not in that which in you biologically have no advantage. unless you are a transgender...

Doll house mum made. Mum motivated me into reading books, crafing, baking, cooking etc



(on picture angels playing with Mika) Joined the family Friday 13 March 2015. We met a week before, she was calling me while I was refilling the bird feeders on the balcony. She continued to call every day so after it was clear she had no 'owner' I invited her in. I gave her the name Michaela, feminine of Michael meaning gift from God. Because she came a day after a specific prayer. 

This was the first time in my life I was angry at God, she being so sweet and the female version on Don Poek. I felt he wanted to give me her so I would forgive him for taking D.P., I mean, he can do everything so he could prolong D.P.'s life too if he wanted. Someone tossed Mika out like garbage, I found her toys and things a few doors away. But she was meant to be with us so all good. The devil will take care of the dumpers.

The first thing she did when she came into my house was walking straight to the bedroom, jumped on the bed and fell asleep on it. Don Poek also on the bed had big eyes, like what the fuck is this, hahaha.

Don Poek

In Loving Memory of my Son, best Friend, Family member and Angel ~my better half 1996 - 2015

Died 13 November 2015, burried 16 November along with a piece of my soul. Don Poek was given a short time to live. I prayed intensly, and in the evening in which I intensified my prayer a light showed up that has not left D.P. for seven months. Until the day that it was his time to go. He went to get his wings and seek us the best bed to sleep in so we can watch birds together when I join him.

After Prayer his guardian was visibly present for 7 months. After another Prayer, Michaela joined the household, she practically knocked on the door the next day.

Single Life: I wore a wedding ring for the same reason (useless pervs) Joan of Arc started to wear pants, which by the by, eventually led to her death. When I realised pervs don't even care about holy unions I saw it has no use to do so. Nothing is holy to (human) pigs.
We can find enough great examples of single peeps in the bible. Jesus doesn't count, he was superspecial. So; Mary Magdalene, Mary and Martha, Lazarus, Jeremiah and Elijah etc.. Elijah is my fav one, he was fed by ravens and hilariously sarcastic to the demon worshipping turds. Plus he made use of the elements (wind, fire). His sarcasm always comes to mind when my muslim neighbour who watched porn with curtains open so all kids could see outside, raises his voice to kids and wife and lied to my landlord summons his demon daily. What kind of god is yours suppose to be you perverted cockroach? 

Prayer on top of mountain 2016

Everytime I am home, I climb the mountain at 4 so I can see the sun rise at 6. Alone time with God in prayer, before looking at the wonderful land God created, looking down at the sea, surrounded by nature.

Listening to the rain

Mika and Noa Piccolo the snail

Don Poek had his own Facebook account. Now Mika's account

The Wounded Butterfly

2018 - This was a wounded butterfly at work which I took home to recover in my tiny garden surrounded by fruit, water, shelter. 

The butterfly stayed for the night and flew away the next day. 

Bed & Breakfast Bird

2018 A bird, of which an ornithologist whome I spoke to later that year declared an adult bird, came to my balcony on a hot summer day. I was watering plants in my miniature garden and then myself. The bird sat on a branch and I could tell he wanted too. So I invited him and he came. Had a bath, dinner, slept in a box on the balcony and left after breakfast in the morning. The bird didn't come back, but the next new guest was waiting under the balcony....


2019 this little fella was exhausted. I was on my way to work when I saw him.

I had an injury so I didn't walk fast. To notice this little one fighting even harder to move the choice was obvious, I stumbled back home with the little one and placed him on my littl balcony/sanctuary.  

Now and then snails pop up on my balcony, so Noa gets guests over. Some stay for months. I love them all.

2018 On my bucket list was to build a fort with toilet paper rolls. My son did this for my birthday hehehe

2019. Received 3 angel figurines from 3 different people. One from a customer, one from a lady where I rented a room and one from a new neighbour. odd and special. Physically and mentally (blow after blow after blow) the hardest year ever experienced. Spiritually at my strongest. Interesting this year is that I came across various priests bishops etc from different churches, and all asked them to pray with me. I collected the prayers like bullets. A miracle 0ccurred. Stopped smoking after 20 years die-hard smoking (promise to God) and blew off a hot date, signing up for Jeet Kune Do instead, continuing the road of abstinence. While experiencing this though year I constantly had to deal with male pigs which I truly believe is instigated by satan like a married male with whorish eyes, a fat fuck with a perverted mouth etc.

It's another year in which my nostrils are completely captured at moments, out of the blue, by the compelling scent of freshly plucked roses. Dear Lord what a smell.

Always busy, always in good company

Cooking Audience

Find my kitchen crafts here

Crafting Audience

Find my Etsy shop here

Prayer Audience

Friends gave me the nickname Ant. I like ants. I watched an ant mourn his friend for over 2 hours in 2017 in Croatia. Proverbs 6:6 Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise 

I have more than 2 loyal crow friends by now. A few of them I know at least seven years (like the one in the last picture sitting on the left side), they always hang around on the same spot. Once a man followed me at least 3 miles with his car and came to stop to ask if these were my birds and if I had trained them to follow me. I explained they were all different birds from different trees and they all have their own territories. 
I recognize them by distinctive features (a broken leg, a certain bold spot or so) and they recognize me. I love crows. They have the gift of seeing; they simply register/call out what they see. Black angels.

My poetry, dreams and so on


Aimlessly wondering - bathing in disgrace
Sold their souls to pleasure, no dignity remained.
The flock, the sheep, awaiting to get devoured
the helpless ignorant mass - living their final hours,
Their weights crushed by responsibility ignored
For in last days of judgment - they all shall taste the sword.

Underneath a poem I wrote in 2019. It has to do with obeying God, controlling the svadhisthana chakra.

like a lioness in a cage
the wall so tall
a little bite
a little blood
a little lick
a little bit to satisfy the thirst
alas one drop will release the beast
it's a pigeon anyway

Materialisation (1997 and 2005 of money): I've had money to the last cent deposited (the exact ammount neded, like a 326,74!) on my bank account which I asked for (not for me) twice. Two witnesses by the by (both times one), my ex and my lawyer. Both times the money was meant for someone else, not a cent was kept. In 2019 materialisation of a plate.

Vision during meditation

A leaf of a green plant, sharp edges. My finger was cut because of the sharpness, the blood dripped from the leaf - small nice beautiful red drops of blood fell on the ground and then flew in the air. I focused on these drops that clinked together and then formed a red lotus - which opened. And then fell apart - and again the red blood balls - drops clinked together and a red lotus was formed and opened his leafs. Have been lookin at it for a while - and then it was gone. Lotus of blood

Dream in 2005 ~ of Jesus on the Cross

It was a hard time. That night I dreamed of being hanged on the cross, I was hit in the face many times with a whip and felt the blood dripping from my face. It did not hurt, only the heart ached. In the corner of my eye I saw a man hanging. I lifted slowely my head and looked at my right side and saw Jesus hanging on his cross next to me. He looked at me, his eyes were peaceful, mild white light around him, blood on his face, head and hands, he smiled, then bended his head down and died. He died peacefully, the pain was nothing compared to the love that dominated, silent suffering - not for himself, but for them, as they did not know what they were doing. Out of love we endure all. It's obvious that Jesus knew exactly why he was dying. And his last words could have never been 'father why have you forsaken me'!

My hometown

2019. Who ever knew the devil would even take away from me my own room where an angel hugged me (which nobody thought was interesting while sitting in church on Sundays).
The holy spirit reminded me of Jesus's words "My Father's house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?"

The lack of hunger for justice that should translate in direct actions anger me, therefore I removed the page I had on this site about the country.